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| A farewell in the dream. |
Two years spent from 33 years old in 34 years old were time when the ideal way of the mind had changed greatly for me. The company that had worked till then was chased from the scheme of the one man who wanted to conceal his lack of policy in the autumn of year that became 33 years old. The he and the talk rose very much, it became a story of establishing it with him in the meeting, and after it had retired, it came to devote one's time to the preparation though it drank every day of three years under in service he and it walked though the colleague did in the seat of an open farewell party as Mr. A. And, the winter. The report that father was a critical condition was received from mother on the night of a certain day. Father..divorce..work..several times..change..finally..return..afterwards..liver..deteriorate..hospitalization and release..repeat. That night was transportation, and sought medical attention at a rush next morning. Father became thin surprisingly, and was returning to features when it was mysteriously young though was the end of cirrhosis. It entered the coma after it was called, word and "Do your best", and the whiff to cap it all omission that had kept groaning too much on the first afterwards what it was died. The death face was swelling done by cirrhosis surprisingly, and was returned to beautiful features when it was young. The relative has run immediately after the father's death. It was called out, "Wasn't there ..earliness.. as soon as it did not become empty if dying ..so..?", and the relative's word was not able to be endured, I went out, it called mother, and informed of the father's death. The limit so much. I remember having cried because the voice is raised when running in in the rest room. It was crying bitterly on the day how many. I who was able to sleep with father because of father's brothers' consideration see the cry when father's death face is seen on that night and his have one's eyes swollen with tears face has been seen by the brother of father who came repeatedly to be going to alternate attendance next morning until midnight. Father's brother accepts we brothers as it was warm, and was able to perform the last offices small with father's brothers' hands though divorced and cut the edge. The water of end was made the sake of the end by using sake instead of water dampness the lip for father who was the thirsty soul. A little event happened to the partner and Mr. A of establishment while about 500,000 Yen advancing the preparation aiming at establishment afterwards, being cheated by the person, and being plucked. The report of having fractured from the him to me in the business trip destination entered though he was still in service. The car was not able to be driven, I drove proceeding coming and his car until the business trip destination, he was taken, it returned, and Mr. A was hospitalized as it was. It comes to be going to leave in two months hospital close, jaundice occurs to Mr. A, and the condition has worsened at a dash though it spent at first while joking even if paying a sympathy visit because it was a fracture. It behaved brightly strangely yellow as shown in the name of jaundice the face when ..hospital.. applying it also the looker-on as he made a jest though it seemed to be serious. The liver cancer was detected while investigating the cause of jaundice though it moved, the hospital wandered, it wandered about the boundary of life and death at one o'clock, and Mr. A who had been put in ICU recovered afterwards. It became an emergency surgery at the same time without metastasized being found, and making clear whether progressed up to which extent. The surrounding one was encouraged, and atmosphere of safe drifted in the attitude that did not lose his brightness though it thought Mr. A's shock to be the big one. I am harmony to the joke mixing he of favorite sake , saying that "Is the sake of the end made when it is too late what?", and have the memory of saying the terrible joke. It doesn't know that it becomes a panel that should be really thought surely. Having laughed because he uttered a voice was saving. Day of operation. Taking about eight hours to operate when paying a sympathy visit the day before, and expected completion it, and seeing it in the evening were believed the word by me who had received the explanation that it was likely to become it late at night, and existed as usual in home. However, it was four o'clock ago or, the telephone rang in the evening. It was from his younger sister. It was not, it came to the hospital, was said only hope, and I who had anticipated the worst result faced the hospital in a hurry while being knocked down the sense of hopelessness partly yet ..the explanation of the result of the operation... Mr. A's family and relative had gathered in the hospital. His younger sister heard it, and the operation administered the narcotic now and heard it was made to sleep the end in one hour because the failure of the operation was realized when occurring at once after it operated when having opened it only there was no giving way of the hand, and opening only and the close. having been sentenced as months of three of the remainder of one's life. And, it is a subject. Even if the lie was told when it was necessary to inform of the result of the operation honestly or it succeeded, and either was decided, whether to enlarge the sentence for the time being I was called in the family conference by needing my of business partner cooperation. The lie that came to light at once was thought that you should explain the results more honestly than it attached, and do the struggle against disease, and it insisted like that because I knew his strong intention power and clear brain well. Mr. A's younger sister also did by seeing agreement. However, it will strongly insist making it to the success of the operation in the reason because of poor of Mr. A's mother, and, after all, the operation succeed. I will cooperate in the lie by his relative's entreaty though I might disown at that time. Every day from it was painful, happy, deep and heavy every day for me. I did the decision to make sure of his death. It is not possible to have done, to have done at all at the death of father, and cannot to deny regret to me not done to be. Fortunately, there was a deposit a little, and it was possible to live if it was several months. It paid a sympathy visit many times on the week being likely to near from the hospital in the destination of Mr. A's hospitalization. It was finished for the telephone to enter from Mr. A at nighttime, to pay a sympathy visit though it was overtime, and to assume the lamplight, told a foolish story, and it had returned at a certain time. The tube projected from Mr. A's side. Cancer was able to be done in the bile duct, and because jaundice was prevented, the one necessary to throw bile. Can the operation by several-time is asked whether he is still lucky of the tube why though he succeeded the operation the doubt it. Moreover, it supports it to the high medical cost supply application etc. in the range that can be done as I do mentally in place of the wife of him who was unstable. It was believed that it was a natural duty. His wheelchair is pushed at a certain time, and it has gone up to the rooftop in the hospital by two people. The wind is cool on the night of autumn, and there is not a person in the vicinity either. Far, it drinks by two people and a downtown neon light where it walks shines. The light of the town Hashigoed until about three o'clock : when going out to drinking. "It is possible to go if recover early and do not go to the drinking walking again" and he say while looking at the light. The despair of the mind was concealed, and "Did not cure it for that early" and I returned as much as possible still by a bright voice, did not get tired as it was by two people, and were looking at the light of a far town. While being impressed by such the light of the town looked at from a long distance beautiful. It was long, and, then, noticed though Mr. A's mother touched his foot ahead when is or returning to the sickroom after the risked time had been spent, and it was cold. The condition already seems to have worsened by no remembrance of the sense of the cold. The former colleague in the company had visited to the visit at a certain time. He saw Mr. A's appearance and found no word to say. Meat seemed to drop by 20kg or more, and to have looked the body of him who that was the build and good like the another person. He talked about me who had gone out of the hospital together to me after it had paid a sympathy visit by the voice that seemed to cry. Cheating the accident of the body of Mr. A who suffered and became weak a situation situation when three months to which the remainder of one's life was sentenced tried to pass from the day of the operation, and to pass the middle of four months became impossible, and it was finally notified from physician in charge's mouth. I heard the story from his younger sister though I was the same seat stripes cork. Afterwards, it seems to have thrown the one person tears in the lobby where none of nights existed though Mr. A seemed not to have shown the shake though he received the notification. A painful lie was pointed from it at the proposition that it is very heavy how to spend the left day for him though did not have to attach any longer. Mr. A tried to be still effective hard in few left every day. The terminally ill person who exists in the same ward learns the condition picked up by shark's cartilage, it is obtained, and it behaves brightly as much as possible for the family. However, time is cruel. The condition deteriorated further, was done from the notification for about two weeks, and Mr. A decided Coroin to the hospital in the vicinity of home. Still, the desire that it wanted to take time with the family even a little might have been strong at the end. Till then, the only daughter who had been doting was not able to have come easily though it alternatively undertook nursing, and Mr. A seems to have had lonely time to his family his wife as Mr. A's mother. It was possible to go only about once a week by the condition's having parted about 50km of me now after Coroin was done, and having deteriorated. And, it had the dream on such night that was. Mr. A has come out in the dream. Lonesomely with a smile, it was answered while seeing when asking what for me to have done, "Will die", and awoke after a while. It was a dawn. Mr. A's wife goes out when feeling uneasiness, waiting until daytime of the day, and calling it, and the condition reports the change not to be. Mr. A went out after the communication of Mr. A and the wife when the effect to want to pay a sympathy visit without speaking was reported, and I was said to the javelin, "It was not necessary to care because it had died sooner or later, and the visit etc. need not come" having the dream. After having exchanged three duplicity remark word, I still hung up the telephone in feelings that had become the mixes without sadness and anger. It had a telephone call from Mr. A's younger sister later. I hear that thank you that the mental status was not too good lie to surroundings as time of death approaches. It will be discontinued to become not good paying a sympathy visit forcibly and the stimulation of him either, and to go for the visit. One week after it has the dream. The sound sleep was broken from me who was not able to sleep toward early morning by one telephone early morning. It was from Mr. A's younger sister. He reported ..dying.. while sobbing. I calmly heard the enshrining place of remains, did some , time with the preparation, too might to have to take, and hung up the telephone. I remember it was mysteriously calm. When he arrived at the funeral hall, it changed into a suit and Mr. A was lying. Eyes are slightly opened, and the mouth is opened slightly half eye half mouth. It ran to the expression of the buddhist image by a certain book, and it had the memory to read as becoming such an expression the dead who had died. It seemed to show the satisfaction to his life, and I smiled at him instinctively. I think that there was a gratitude from sadness. I returned to the house once, and went out again because I did the wake on the evening of the day. The sake of the exchanged end was noticed not to be able to be drunk, and Chivas Regal was taken to he and the joke mixing by one jar at the thought end. When it arrives at the funeral hall, and the dressing case that sake enters is taken near the altar, the younger sister of Mr. A who has approached shows her suspicious face. She covered the face, and cried that I said, "Because the sake of the end was not able to be drunk, it was at least thought the one holding a service, and brought it". Sea Bus was put on the coffin. Chivas Regal still enshrined it on the coffin also in the seat of the small feast that had been put afterwards. All relatives knew his thirsty soul, and seeming the desire of the one holding a service at least. I answered, "It had already greeted him", and spoke the dream of seeing one week before the death because I had said only having come even forcibly when getting into trouble went in paying a sympathy visit of meeting and Mr. A's younger sisters. However, when the effect from which it refrained early morning it was said, the desire that I look like regret a little, too remained though it tried to have attendance in the hour of death. One of the relatives in the course of time opened stopping Chivas Regal though was good, and began to drink , saying that "It is too good only to enshrine it". It was thought that it is holding a service of all men in the seat, and drank Chivas Regal. Next day's funeral. Sea Bus was used like seemed being natural in the water to moisten a dying person's lips in place of water. It was a dandy, and the alcholic drink of the end that suited Mr. A who was popular among the woman well in going out for a drink destination well. Both the father's death and Mr. A's death following it became big experiences for me. Especially, deep regret of totaling, being able to do nothing but being the remain an idle onlooker of association for about four years, and declines of the condition, and to look at was left, and it became an opportunity that met macrobiotics with Mr. A. It is a dream of seeing one week before it and the death. I believe that I go out to the dream as a wraith because had Mr. A doesn't leave the bed, and greeted it. Heart Search 
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